Well it was a place to call home. It feels like I learned a lot from that house. I still remember when I helped everyone move in...err I mean when I arrived everything was already moved in. It seems like only yesterday we moved into that house. We called it the crib, pad, lair, 2022, place, but I always pretty much just called it "the house."
I still remember when we went to look at it, well the truth is...it wasn't even there yet it was still yet to be built. I remember touring the model house nearby right before the girls got there to do their tour. Immediately we knew that we were going to live in a house like that. So we went back to Kardon and called our parents and scraped up enough cash for our first, last, and security deposits. From there on out, it was pretty much a wrap.
Who would get the big room?
We followed the ancient and honored tradition of picking numbers out of a hat...not once, but twice. First to determine the order in which we would draw and then pick the actual numbers which corresponded to the different rooms of the house. I can still remember that Michael was extremely disappointed in getting the bone after doing most of the work. Spuds made out with the largest room, and if memory serves me correct, I don't even think Blair got to pick.
Our First Party.
I don't remember it.
The Quality Craftsmanship.
Sure I could bore you with stories of crown molding and the spiral staircase that never happened. Instead I can tell you about the more interesting stuff. Like when the entire backyard well collapsed during a function. Or perhaps the time when I came home from class and went into the basement only to find our entire house supported by jacks. Or when Spud's entire room was ripped apart because the roof leaked. Yea to be honest the house was pretty solid, it went through quite a bit in the almost two years we lived in it.
The Parties
I can honestly say that I don't think that we ever threw a bad party. Then again I'm also friends with people who can have a good time just about anywhere as long as there's a keg of Key and some speakers.
The Pit.
Enough said.
If there's one thing I remember about that house, it really comes down to the events that transpired within those sheetrock and drywalls. That's what I really remember. So, without further adieu:
Jarrett Buchanan's Top 10 Memories of THE HOUSE.
Hon. Mentions: YEAAA PAIGE, Wolf, DUTY TIME, "You're a dog! You don't even deserve to be talked to!"---errr wait wrong house, the time I washed my entire wardrobe and a pen exploded in the dryer.
10. The Hand.
I can still remember when the girls absolutely freaked out when they "saw" a hand reach in through the back door. By the time I heard about the incident, everything had been stolen from the house and at least one of them had been robbed. Over exaggerated? Maybe.
9. My Weekend
Yea I'm sure most of you know exactly what happened during this particular weekend. In actuality you probably remember more of it than I do. All I know is by the time it was over, I had a pair of jeans in the washer, a mattress and sheets in the street, and a terrible headache.
But for the record: "I don't even...like...nacho...cheese."
8. New Years Day 2009
I woke up in Blair's bed, partially clothed. He walked in early and said, go to your bed...I responded, "You go to your bed!" I later managed to pull myself together and realize I was not in my own room and also that I had not been miraculously healed as I initially perceived. I just never took my contacts out.
7. White-Trash Bashes.
A tradition carried on from the times of Sir Hussey. The annual WTB was definitely one of the yearly highlights at the house. I mean how can you beat/justify a night with all your friends drinking Budweiser, wearing cutoffs, listening to Skynard, and watching the big race. I must say the novelty has worn off a bit as I have just described my average day in Kentucky.
6. The Intervention
Remember the time when we piled snow in front of the girls' house? I sure do. I still have the voicemail from some Temple Police detective telling me that it was in my best interest to cooperate with the authorities and that "my college career depends on it". Obviously not. But even better than that is when we had a full fledged intervention. Accusations flew...tears flowed...and lies were prevalent. In the end what did we accomplish? Nothing. It basically worked itself out after about a week.
5. Are You a Real Cop?
Yes. We had a small gathering on the rear patio. We were simply enjoying each other's company near the fire fueled by old nursing textbooks and college notebooks. Until...until the police showed up at our rear gate and announced themselves. Michael responded with "Are you a real cop...we don't even have the key for this gate!" It was pretty awesome.
4. WIPEOUT!
They shall remain nameless. It's a simple story really. Boy meets girl. Girl asks boy to dance. Boy takes girls hand.....WHAM! Girls face strikes the floor with such force that I wasn't sure she had all her teeth. But she did, and a few stitches later she was fine and we have a story that we can all laugh at...well at least I can.
3. My 21st Birthday.
It may have been the largest party ever held at the house, one or two may have surpassed it. In terms of fun, it was awesome. If you were there you heard my speech, and if you weren't there's video floating around somewhere that will one day remove all credibility that I may somehow eventually gain with others. It truly was an epic birthday.
2. "YOU WANT BEER?..."
The only time I can remember getting angry with each other. So here's the back drop...we were having a party, the beer ran out, but we had a reserve case of Natty Light stored in his* fridge. Blair and I went upstairs to acquire some beverages...but alas! the door was locked!
Me:"What are we going to do?"
Blair:"Knock on the door 'till he answers...it will be a war of attrition!"
Me: "Ok."
In retrospect, it was a poor choice to have kept pounding on the door. But we were living in the moment, and boy were we thirsty. We knocked, yelled, tapped, pounded, and chanted but to no avail.
Me: "Blair, I don't think he's going to answer...he's probably dead or something."
As I made my way down the steps, I heard a commotion. Then I heard the door fly open, he let out a god-awful roar...quite demonic, almost as if he was possessed by the devil himself, "YOU WANT BEER...HERE'S YOUR F!#$ing BEER!" I quickly turned back and only could catch a glimpse of a rather large blue cube shaped object traveling extremely fast down at me from the top of the steps nearly 8 feet above me. I managed to bob to the left and deflect the thirty pack of Natty with my hands, but not before it gashed my hand open...okay there was a small cut. But the blood, it was everywhere. The beast let out a thunderous growl, "THERE'S YOUR BEER!"
We were no longer friends. That is until about twenty minutes later when we hugged it out and recounted the tale over a cold Natty from the case which nearly led to my untimely demise.
*His: He/him/etc shall remain nameless for the protection of his identity.
1. Honestly I don't really think that I can come up with a favorite memory from that place that we called home for two years. They are all truly special in their own way. I'm gonna miss that place and hopefully one day I'll be able to drive my kids around and say that's where daddy learned to party. That's where I learned the difference between SoCo and SoCo 100. That's where I learned that you don't have to answer the door when the police knock, and that garbage men will take an entire mattress.
That's where I learned where it doesn't matter where you live, who you live with, or what you do...
A house is just a place with four walls, a roof, a bed and a toilet. Or as my grandfather John A. once so eloquently put it, a place to: "shit, shower, and shave". The house was only that...a house. We could have been anywhere in the world and still made lasting memories with our friends. I'll probably still miss it though...a little anyway.
Well as most of my old roommates have moved out or are almost out of the house, I just wanted to take the time to say thank you.
Michael, Blair, Spuds, Jason, Jeff, Matt, and Dave...thanks for the memories we had a blast and I can't wait to visit you guys in your new places so we can do it all over again.
